WEEK 5

On Friday morning we arrived at the Day Care Centre to discover the Pawana's (the manager of the centre) brother-in-law had died from drink driving; which was devastating for the family as death is, but his wife was expecting any day.

Even still today in India women are regarded as subordinate to men; widowed and abandoned women even resort to suicide because of the way they are treated and regarded in society. In a land where death is ever present the culture taboos self- harming. For women with few choices, death can be the honoured answer.

Anju our project supervisor ensures us that she has support and when she is stable and had the baby we can go an visit her and help her if she needs anything. At the moment in the community the women of the family meet three times daily to grieve for the loss of him.

Understandingly, we only had Abu, Acu and Tamana who must have made a pact to misbehave- cute little monsters! After a morning at the centre we headed back to the house and got ready to travel 8 hours to Manali. On an over crowded bus with no air conditioning, personal space and health and safety, all of which seem to go out of the window on an Indian bus along with a child’s sick and occasional spray of spit. Just about all 17 of us managed to get a seat with of course the company of an Indian family sat on your lap with or without your consent. We eventually arrived at the hotel at about 12:30 and they re-opened the restaurant for us waking up the chef!

The next day we woke up to the beautiful mountainous valley and headed another two hours to do white water rafting - ten people in one jeep may have actually been worse than the bus! White water rafting was amazing, plodding down the river hitting the rapids and when it got calmer we jumped out for a swim!

We stayed in Vashist, a beautiful, relaxing village - ideal for travellers and full of them! There was beautiful stream trickling down the mountains which collected into a hot water spring - I can’t say it was really how I imagined it. Basically a dirty pool of hot water which had local half naked men in, and women alongside doing their washing. The village was full of bars, restaurants and shops; we found a lovely fish restaurant which had a real hippy atmosphere. The food was amazing the best food I’ve had in India, and they played a bit of snow patrol and Kings of Leon, making us feel right at home. As the hotel was expensive we decided to cram six girls in one room which at the time seemed a good idea - I can’t really say the floor was comfy and to be woke up by flies persistently in your face wasn’t nice.

The next morning whilst eating breakfast we heard ranting and drums from over the terrace, there was a crowd of Indian’s frantically darting and singing whilst what looked like an effigy. A hysterical man began shaking implying he had god in him whilst the crowd persisted in dancing and singing excitedly.

The bus journey back was intimidating as always. A man that looked like Hitler was persistently staring, I’ve got used to curious stares but not intense uncomfortable ones from a man who looks like the cruelest leader of all time!

The only reason he may have stared was because of our laughter; since being here I’ve barely seen anyone really laugh. Emotion doesn’t seem apparent; although communities are close I think it’s more of a religious thing than an emotive connection. However complacent we are about the stares when we are home we will feel neglected and may just have to slip on a pair of florescent PVC jeans!

Since being here I only feel comfortable and almost accepted in a Salwar Kamees. And even then I don’t; as one size fits all! Plus the fact men stare so hard and sleazily whilst holding hands with each other as their wives trail behind with no display of affection.

The monsoon should have began by now therefore the climate is getting unbearable for the children to attend school so the governments have closed the schools, but the Day Care Centre was still open so parents from class one decided to lumber their children on us too so we ended up with a full class!

Everyday we walk the kids home as they roll down the mountains with me and Jade screaming ‘bus’ (stop) as they take no notice until one of them falls over crying - which is becoming a daily event! Every home we pass by mothers and mother-in-laws are cooking, cleaning and sewing, whilst women are expected to conform to the stereotype of a housewives, family funds will go to sending boys to school.

We then went scouting for girls for women’s empowerment which proved successful, Indian families are amazing hosts - every house we go to we are offered chai (tea). One of the girls, Anita, had an open wound and had enclosed it with nail varnish! We got Anita and Sanita talking and writing English, with better handwriting than mine! I also had Cajah in my group she has been attending women’s empowerment for a while and is so intelligent considering the learning resources provided in India.

The drought has officially ended; we are practically living in the clouds the air feels so hot and clammy. Its alike India has never seen rain; the monsoon drowns the town causing chaos. As we close the windows and doors of the house hiding away with a brew; the monkeys get cheeky and appear on our balconies!

Our busy day began at the Day Care Centre as always, with ten kids (again from class one) a joy as always! We played races, got a class picture and did some basic numbers in English and Hindi. When showing the class picture to them, they were amazed with an image of themselves as always; we are going to get the picture developed for the parents too.

Typically the heavens opened on our way to women’s empowerment whilst chasing the kids down the mountains. Once the rain had cleared the leeches appeared! Another part of women’s empowerment is visiting local pregnant women ensuring they have all the relevant vaccination and support. We went to visit Varsha, she is 8 months gone but doesn’t look a day past 4 months; she has been warned that she and the baby are weak but she is still lifting and looking after the cows. Varsha informed us that the sex of the baby cannot be disclosed in India as there is a risk that if it’s a girl it may be aborted. To develop her strength we are delivering her dinner from the Day Care Centre daily and going to visit her weekly.

Whilst walking from the house we heard the daily yelping, morning for the loss of the man in the community, but as it seemed louder, Anju asked someone who informed her it was the day they were scattering his ashes.

The same three girls came to women’s empowerment which was promising, but with no electricity we just did some more literature. I took some wipes, cream and plasters to sort Anita’s cut which looked a lot better - the nurse’s touch from my mum! The weather drastically changed and the sun and clear skies were out, it was clearer than we had ever seen it we could see the tips of the mountains coated in snow!

When traveling to work I couldn’t help but think of how much I missed home for many reasons, but I also miss escapism from destitution. However selfish it may seem, at home we have the choice to take in as much as you want and then turn the tv off. But here, however much you try not to become attached you can’t ignore the children being sent to school filthy and the shanty houses beside the beautiful mountains.

When we got to the Day Care Centre the kids were dressed in fleeces as it was cloudy but far from cold; it’s just so strange how the climates are so different. The kids really do appreciate the smallest things. We played with bubbles and they were going crazy for them whilst not surprising as at home they only have a few hand-me-down toys.

I popped into the school to say goodbye before taking the kids home, and the head teacher was hitting Ritu (a child we used to have in DCC but has been moved up). It is just so upsetting to witness this, but at the same time frustrating as the teacher is just undermining us, if we are taking and disciplining the kids they won’t listen if he takes our authority.

Taking the kids home, the village was full as the community had got together for dinner as a sign of respect for the man that died (this is a routine procedure when people die); it can all seem so forced and real mourning seems to be at the back of peoples minds; staging daily tears, events and gatherings.

We went to visit the other pregnant women in the village; we visited Pavana who is 7 months pregnant but has had two miscarriages before although her in-laws are putting pressure on her to still work. We also visited Lato, she is 4 months pregnant still working in the field and the in-laws are too proud to accept food from the Day Care Centre. The third lady Suvekha is 7 months pregnant she appears to be the happiest and actually looked pregnant in comparison to the others we have seen.

We organized a morning at the Day Care Centre for parents to come in so we could discuss hygiene with them, as at times me and Jade have got them under the tap and scrubbed them - which is fine but once we are gone we want this to be maintained. We prepared things that need to change and health reasons for this; such as brushing their teeth which to our astonishment they don’t do at all! Clothes, shoes and hair are not cleaned even on a weekly basis; Abu’s shoes don’t even stay on as they are broke.

The parents took the advice well so we hope to see a change in the kids. We then had our usual weekly meeting which consists of moaning and over-running - whilst I’m gasping for chai and coconut biscuits! Returning home we were informed Patra (my room mate) had to go to Delhi for treatment but was told to pack in case she had to go home; so we went for a meal and wrote her letters for her journey in a swanky private jet - it may be worth breaking my leg just for the view!

That evening I finished ‘holy cow’, a book I’ve been reading since I got here, it follows the adventure of Sara from Oz through India, the highs and lows of her experience, which was a great book to read as I could relate to her. But when I finished it I felt her emotions of leaving India and it made me realize how much I actually will miss it!

I hope everyone is well at home, not long now only four weeks until I can have lasagne!